she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
