guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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