If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
