he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
