Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
