yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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