so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
