I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
