what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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