I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
