She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
