i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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