I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
