All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
