Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
