then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
