So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
