but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
