a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
