yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
