how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just invented taco cereal.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
