My room smells like vodka and shame
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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