Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
