I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
