what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He passed out mid-signature
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
