can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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