dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
