The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
