i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
