that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
