There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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