You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
