Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
