Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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