yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
