it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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