Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
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