Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
