If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
