Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
