I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
