went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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