I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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