My room smells like vodka and shame
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
