Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
