5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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