sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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