I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
