Your dad touched me again.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
