she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
