So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
